The American Football Fan

I was surfing different sites when I came across this, it's written by my younger brother Trevor. I didn't even know that he could write this well, hmmm, guess you learn something new every day.

The American Football Fan
A question often asked is “Why would you paint yourself blue, go half naked in -10 degrees weather, and scream till you have a sore throat or have fainted from lack of oxygen?” At first anyone would say “Who does that?” or “is he utterly insane?” So I’m writing this to answer, in what I believe to be the most reasonable way, these three questions.In order to answer the question “Why would you paint yourself blue, go half naked in -10 degrees weather, and scream till you have a sore throat or have fainted from lack of oxygen?”, I would have to break it down into three questions. The first is “Why would you paint yourself blue?” To the person that utterly hates paint, and would be as happy as my nephew when he gets chocolate cake, if there was no such thing as paint, it would seem fool-hearted to paint yourself blue. But to the person who holds Picasso as his role model, it would be an excellent way to show your skill with the paint roller. The question “why would you go half naked in -10 degrees weather?” is not difficult for a Eskimo to answer, but since we are not all privileged to be one I’ll try to answer for the non-Eskimo people. To a person like my aunt Ruth who sits in her rocking chair, which is by the fire, it would be unthinkable to even step outside on a day like that. But to someone that is trying to prove you can freeze your tussie off it is an ideal way to do just that. The third question is the hardest for it makes no sense to a civilized man to “scream till you have a sore throat or have fainted from lack of oxygen”. But to a person who just ate a jalapeno it is a great way to forget about it. So if put these three together you get your typical fan of the Boston Blueheads.To answer to the question “Who does that?” I would have to say that it would be someone that has quiet a bit of insulation, spends his milk money on blue paint, and is very good at smuggling alcoholic beverages. If someone had these traits then I would immediately suspect that he is a football fan.The third question is quiet simple to answer. Someone that “paints himself blue, goes half naked in -10 degrees weather, and screams till he has a soar throat or has fainted from lack of oxygen”, is not insane but merely believes, that if he follows these rituals passed down to him by his father, the Boston Blueheads will win the super bowl.So having answered these three questions I hope that there will be no more strange stories saying people that “paint themselves blue, go half naked in -10 degrees weather, and scream till they have a sore throat or have fainted from lack of oxygen?”, are close cousins of frankenblueberry. Because they are really just a combination of my nephew Brandon who has Picasso as a role model, my aunt Ruth, and my brother Troy who just ate a jalapeno. So don’t think that they are weird or insane but that it’s quiet normal in many parts of the world to “paint yourself blue, go half naked in-10 degrees weather, and scream till you have a sore throat or have fainted from lack of oxygen”, and if any of you might see one of them I ask that you will ask them to call me and tell me where they get the blue paint.